8 Tips for Lifting the Winter Doldrums

We are halfway through January and I feel it in my bones. The angst of January. Can you feel it? Cold, bitter wind, dreary skies, and dreams of a brand new me dying with every passing day. New years are always hard for me, and this year feels doubly so. The winter doldrums can really throw us off our game and keep us from reaching our goals. Those of us who live overseas, away from our support systems, can really feel the brunt of it and find ourselves in dangerous territory. Even those who live in warmer climates might struggle during the rainy season when the sun is hidden for weeks at a time and you feel trapped inside by the weather. The dreariness and isolation of these months can be debilitating.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. If you’re suffering from the winter blues, here are a few tried and true tricks for helping you find your way through.

Go Outside

A daily dose of sunlight is a proven strategy against depression and is especially effective for those of us who struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder. But even if your area doesn’t have much sun to speak of in the winter months, a bit of fresh air and activity will help you feel better. Exercise alone is a powerful tool in fighting depression as it helps your body release seratonin. The act of getting yourself up and moving each day can empower you to keep the energy going, allowing you to tackle the next item on your to-do list and prevent you from falling into the pit of despair. My husband and I go on walks together through the forest near our home to help us get moving. It gives us time to talk and sometimes offers an opportunity to minister to others as we pass friends and neighbors along the way. So, whether it’s a stroll through the neighborhood, or a trip to the gym, get yourself out of the house and start your day with a new perspective.

Visit a Friend

Need a bit more motivation to get outside? Why not plan a visit with friends? In our little village in France, a walk up the street to share a cup of tea with my friend Leia is a special treat. A widow with a special talent for making Alsacian cookies, she welcomes me with a delighted smile to sit beside her fireplace for a few hours and chat. I don’t speak French very well and she doesn’t speak English at all, but that doesn’t stop us from enjoying our teatime visits together, and I always leave feeling uplifted. Who can you visit this week that might lift your mood and remind you of your purpose?

Eat More Color

Our diets can greatly affect our mood, especially during the winter when we are deprived of sunlight. Eating foods rich in vitamins B and D can help you feel energized again and even improve your mood. Look for fruits and vegetables with bright colors to add to your meals. Eating them raw gives you the maximum benefits as the heat of cooking will diminish their effectiveness. If you can’t enjoy vegetables raw, then adding them to your favorite foods will still increase your vitamin intake. Carrots, sweet potatoes, pumpkin or squashes, and brightly colored peppers can be pureed and added to casseroles, soups, and sauces. Fruits make healthy snacks and some like citrus fruits can even help you fight off illness during cold and flu season. Adding colorful fruits and vegetables to your diet is like eating a mouthful of sunshine when the sun refuses to show its face.

Turn Up the Lights

Winter blues are enabled by the lack of direct sunlight we are receiving this time of year. When you are trapped indoors by the bad weather, make sure you have plenty of light. Open the curtains to let in the sun. We can easily be thrown off balance by the lack of light during the day and confuse our body’s clock. Turn on the lights in the room you are working in, especially during the day, to keep your mind focused and your body on track. If you are used to having softer light, consider switching to brighter bulbs for a few months. Small changes can have a big impact and your winter blues may seem a little less terrible in the bright light of day.

Plan for Fun

When the winter days stretch on and on, you might be surprised how powerful it is to have something fun to look forward to each month. Plan for fun. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • Take a day off and explore your area like a tourist.
  • Set up a family or community game night.
  • Invite other expats over for a dinner party or a night out.
  • Go on a date with your spouse.
  • Try a new hobby by taking a class, or buying supplies to get started.
  • Take the kids on a little adventure, hike, swim, or play at the playground.

Fight Homesickness

Living abroad is particularly challenging and one thing we do each winter is plan an “American Day” to cheer us up. It started when we complained to a friend that we missed going to the movie theater. She mentioned a theater an hour away in the closest big city that shows movies in their original language. So, a few days later, tired of all the grumbling and pouty faces in our home, we packed up the car and headed out for a day of fun in the big city. You should have heard our shouts of excitement when we discovered a brand new Five Guys in the center of town. We had real milkshakes and seasoned fries for the first time in years. What a treat! Then, we walked across town to visit the theater to watch a big blockbuster movie we knew our friends back home had already seen. We were the only ones in the theater who laughed at the jokes since the French subtitles didn’t really do them justice. We ended our American Day with a quick trip to the shopping mall and dinner at Pizza Hut. It wasn’t exactly the same as eating in America, but it was close enough. And just like that, we were cured of homesickness. We went home to our tiny village happier than ever, and ready to embrace the sweet little life we had there in the quiet village with our neighbors. What a difference a day makes.

If you’re from another country, find a few things you miss from home and indulge yourself. It will be a day your family looks forward to every year. I promise.

Find Good Counsel

The isolation of winter is one of the more dangerous things about the winter doldrums. For those who live abroad, it is especially difficult to stay connected to their support system. If you struggle with loneliness, depression, or anxiety during the winter, please make an action plan to protect yourself. My mother and I have a standing appointment to talk each Tuesday. It’s written on my calendar and we never miss it. With technology the way it is today, there is less standing between us than ever before. We use Facebook Messenger to video chat and it’s amazing how comforting it is to see her face. Call, video, text, write letters, record your voice message, do whatever it takes to stay connected with those who love you and lift you up. Share your burdens with them, and ask them to pray for you. It’s powerful.

Sometimes what we really need is someone we can confide in that isn’t directly involved in our lives. Everyone has struggles and feelings that are difficult to work through sometimes. That’s when it is helpful to have a counselor. A counselor or family therapist can listen impartially, help you find truth amid all of the conflicting messages in your head, and show you how to move forward in times of struggle. A Christian counselor helps you do that through the lens of God’s word and with the power of prayer behind you. If you are a missionary in need of good counsel or an impartial listening ear, our licensed Christian counselors are especially equipped to work with those in ministry living with challenges abroad, and our services are free.

Plan an Escape

Are you really feeling overwhelmed? Defeated? Exhausted? Sad for no reason at all? Why not run away for a few days? Hear me out. Sometimes all we really need is a change of scenery. Like our first tip, getting outside for a bit of sun, planning a getaway for a few days can have a powerful effect on your heart and mind. In our work with missionaries, it has been heartbreaking to find how seldom they give themselves freedom to take a break. They work hard, pouring their heart and soul into other people until there is little left behind. Then, they get up and do it all again year after year. This can have devastating affects on their heart, mind, body, and soul. It damages their marriages and families when they don’t take time to invest in that relationship, especially if they don’t have the kind of support from their sending organization or church that encourages them to spend time (and yes, money) to protect their marriage. Regular date nights are hard for a missionary family on a budget, much less a family vacation. But time away from work, even ministry, is important for their health, and the health of their family. It is also important to take time away to be with the Lord. Jesus himself shows us this many times in the gospel accounts of the new testament. We must follow his example when ministry pulls at us, draining our energy, and slip away to a quiet place where we can be restored. That is the purpose of our Chateau Clairefontaine. There, in a quiet village far from the distractions of the world, missionaries can rest, pray, and spend time together as a family without the burdens of their daily life. It is a place of rest and restoration. All meals are prepared and provided for them, a counselor is available each day for private counseling, and this is all provided for no cost to those who are spending themselves for the kingdom of God thanks to generous donors who believe missionaries should be honored for the work they do. Our donors want you to feel loved, cherished, and protected at Clairefontaine. So, give your family hope this winter and reserve a stay in the quiet French countryside at Chateau Clairefontaine with R&R Ministries.

Want to Help Missionaries in Need?

Help us serve more families on mission through Restored & Renewed Ministry by donating today. You can be the one who provides a safe place for them to land during a difficult time, or the counseling they need to get them through crisis. Don’t let another family suffer and turn away from their calling when it can be prevented with a little help from someone who cares.

Battle Wounds

Battles hard-fought on the front lines of spiritual warfare sometimes leave their mark on the body and soul. In the middle of a war, you don’t take a soldier out and send him home when he’s been injured without first assessing the damage. Sometimes just removing the soldier from the front lines, giving them some much needed R&R, and focused care is enough to heal the damage done. Then, they can be sent back to finish the job they came to do.

But too often when it comes to ministry, we take those wounded soldiers who’ve given every ounce of their strength to the fight, and ship them home at the first signs of injury. There, they often feel like they let people down, and they struggle to let go of the guilt and despair they feel as they watch their fellow soldiers struggle on in the fight without them. They become the walking wounded among us, and not only do they suffer, the work they left behind often crumbles without someone to continue it.

The answer to every struggle in the field of missions isn’t, “Maybe it’s time to come home.” As a matter of fact, we are weakening the ministry of God, as well as those who minister, when we encourage families to give up too quickly and abandon the work God has begun in them. We can do better than that, church. Much better. Instead, let us surround them with love, and the resources they need to heal. Let’s reassure them that we are on their side, that we want them to be healthy, and strong, and continue running the race God laid out for them to run.

Some time away from the front lines, a little R&R, and an invitation to share their burden with those who understand are all simple treatments that can strengthen a weary heart. Private counseling with someone who is experienced in helping families work through the issues that are holding them back can be life-changing. In the past, it was almost impossible for missionaries to find counseling resources without having to travel back to their country of origin, and even then, counselors seldom had experience with the unique challenges of life on the mission field and how it affects a family.

Restored & Renewed Ministry is honored to be a place of hope for families in the field of mission work. Our counselors work with missionaries around the world, and thanks to modern technology, they can be available to help almost instantly. Video conferencing makes it easy to reach your personal counselor from the privacy of your own home whether it’s in India or Mozambique, and our counselors have ministry experience, so they understand how it can compound normal life struggles in unexpected ways. 

Chateau ClaireFontaine is another tool for healing that we are glad to have available now year-round. Our guests find time to be together as a family without the distractions of work, and enjoy a lot of precious quiet time in the French countryside. It’s not glamorous, but it is often the ideal solution to a heart heavily burdened with care. Quiet, rest, and time to refocus. It’s a simple prescription to heal even the most battle-weary soldier.

To learn more about how YOU can help support a missionary in the field, visit our Take Action Page, and help us offer hope and healing to missionaries around the world.

When the Truth is Scary

This week I asked missionaries around the world to share their stories on social media to illustrate the importance of a little R & R in their work and their family life. I intentionally reached out to former missionaries because I knew they no longer had the fear of losing their financial support if they spoke up about the difficulties of life in ministry. Do you know how many actually shared their stories?

One.

One person was brave enough to share their truth on social media. That should be a warning to all of us. Even now, years later, it is too hard, too painful, too risky for them to share what it was really like to live on mission without the kind of support Restored and Renewed Ministry is offering. I know this because I heard from them in my private messages, and they all said the same thing. “We don’t want to hurt anyone. We don’t want to damage any relationships. We’re still friends with churches who supported us, and we don’t want them to feel like we were ungrateful.”

For others, it was more than that. It was simply too painful to return to those moments that broke their hearts, and forced them out of the work they were called to do. The pain is still fresh, and years haven’t healed the wounds. I cried over those notes, and I prayed for the healing that can only come from the God who witnessed their pain, and saw their tears. My friend Jessica was one of those people. She wrote to apologize, ” I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to post this on Facebook.”

Reading through her story, you could see that the pain was still there in her words. She softened the truth with kindness, forgiveness evident in the way she spoke about what had happened, but you could tell it was still a wound that hadn’t healed. She ended with this…

We were so run down, hurt, and exhausted that we actually lost faith in the team aspect of the mission altogether. We needed to be able to detach from the team and focus on our own personal relationships with Jesus in order to see the situation more clearly. A time out to be ENCOURAGED, supported, and surrounded by loving believers would have greatly eased our burdens and helped to refresh our perspectives. #RandRmatters

A time out, and a little encouragement. That’s what she believes could have kept them in the field, doing the work they loved for the lost in their adopted country. Instead, they were forced to return home to the midwest where they tried to return to “normal life”, and put the pain of it all behind them. But it doesn’t really work that way. That pain stays with you. It lingers, it festers, it spreads, and it can keep us isolated from the very thing that could bring healing. When our pain has been caused by the church, our hearts broken by the actions or words of those we trusted to lead us, our enemy digs in and makes his home there in the pain. He isolates us from our family, friends, church, and even God by convincing us we’re alone in that pain. We can find ourselves sitting in the middle of church, and feeling more alone than we ever did on mission, thousands of miles from home.

The best way to heal the wound is to expose it. Be honest about the damage that has been done to your heart, and soul. Sometimes a counselor can help you to give words to the pain you’ve been carrying for too long in silence. A counselor who has been in ministry for many years is a precious resource because they not only have the tools to help you work through that grief and anger, but can empathize with your situation. That’s why we are so very grateful to have the talented counselors we have here at Restored & Renewed Ministry. They can help, and they can meet you right where you’re at thanks to the incredible power of technology.

Another powerful ally in your healing is found in other missionaries like you who have lived through the painful experiences of life in the field, or the intensity of returning home, and all the grief that carries with it. Sharing our stories with one another says You’re not alone. That’s why we will continue to encourage former missionaries and current missionaries alike to share their story, and declare to the church that #RandRmatters. Like our friend Jessica said, a little time out to be encouraged could have saved their work. It could save a family. It could save a life.

A Story About Furloughs

They sat at my dining room table looking too tired to eat as they told us about their work overseas. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen that look on a missionary’s face. We’d been hosting missionaries in our home for nearly twenty years, and I’d seen it many times before. Weary eyes that crinkle at the edges as they force a smile, shoulders that slump over their dinner plate, too tired and defeated to be held straight for another moment. The little ones shifted in their seats, casting a pleading gaze at their mother, their food hardly touched. She shook her head, a silent message that was met with a pout, but submission as the boy poked the food on his plate with a fork and kept quiet.

“How long have you been on the road this time?” my husband asked.

“Well, it took us two days to get here to you from our last stop, but we’ve been on the road off and on for nearly two months. We’ve just got another week to go in this furlough, and we’ll be headed home.”

“Wow. That must be tough. Have you had a good trip?”

The missionary nodded, his mouth twisted into a wistful smile.

I could see the hesitation in his eyes.

“You can be honest with us. We know how hard it is to travel like that, and most see it as a great big vacation. I’m sure the excitement wore off weeks ago.”

That’s when his wife started to cry. Silent tears at first that trickled out onto her lashes. When she sniffled, we glanced her way, and the dam that had been holding it back for weeks broke. Embarrassed, she jumped up from the table, and ran out of the room.

For many of us who support mission work in our local churches, we have very little idea of what it is like to live as a missionary, and even less what it is like to come “home” for furlough. But this time period is not only stressful, it can be the beginning of the end for a family in missions. The stress and expections of those back home can be too much for a family, and create wounds that grow into painful issues that destroy a family, and a career in ministry.

Although it may seem like a vacation since missionaries leave their place of work behind, and get to travel around the world on an extended road trip, furlough is NOT a vacation. Ignoring the pain of leaving your work behind for two months, and for a missionary work = people, it can be extremely overwhelming to begin such an extended trip, especially if you have children in tow. Long flights, weeks of driving, sleeping on pull out sofas, futons, and guest beds while your children are sometimes left on pallets on the floor is exhausting. Everywhere you visit is excited to see you (hopefully) but they have a long list of questions, and usually they are the same questions that you just answered twenty times in a row that week. And some of the questions aren’t nice, either. Often laced with prejudice, or even veiled threats, churches and family can both feel entitled to criticize your decisions for your family, your work, and any other choice you’ve made since moving overseas.

Most missionaries are required to visit every church who donates money, even if the total amount donated that year didn’t cover the gas needed to visit them on furlough. Every church has the right, and responsibility, to ask about how the ministry is progressing, but some take this too far. However, even if every single church treats the missionary with respect and love, it can be demoralizing and exhausting having to prove your worth again and again and again for two months straight. Your wife, and children are on display, too, and they better be on their best behavior. You can imagine how a three year old acts in Sunday class after driving all day the day before to arrive late, and then sleep on the floor. They’ve been forced to say hello and good bye too many times to count over the course of the last two months, and sitting still in church in their pretty dress just is asking too much. They’re ready to go home, and be quiet and play with their old toys again, but by now they may wonder if they’ll ever see home again. Two months is a long time in a toddler’s life, and it’s not her fault the grown ups in her world are expecting so much of her.

I’ve met hundreds of missionaries and ministers now in my life, and I guarantee not a single one of them want to say just how hard it really is for them to be constantly on trial. “It’s part of the job,” a minister said to me once. It may be true, but that doesn’t make it right.

Here are some ways we can make our missionaries and ministers feel more loved when they are on furlough:

  1. Volunteer to host a visiting family, or invite them over for dinner.

  2. Try your best to give everyone in the family their own bed. If necessary, book a comfortable hotel suite for them to stay in during their visit to your town.

  3. If there isn’t a NEED to have them visit your congregation, let them know you are happy to see them on another visit. Let them off the hook, but reassure them their funding is secure.

  4. Send them away with a basket of road trip treats like bottled water, cookies, and books or games for the kids.

  5. Ask about more than their work. Show that you care about them as people, their family, and their feelings. If they are struggling, offer to connect them with a counselor through R & R Ministry.

  6. Check in regularly with the family, and focus on loving them. Fight their fear that funding will be cut by communicating often, and encouraging them to keep doing their good work.

  7. Surprise them with some time alone together as a family complete with everything they need to have a REAL vacation together. Plan ahead so that they can work it into their schedule before their trip begins since most families are on a tight schedule to visit as many places as possible. Need an idea to help you get started? Book them a stay at our chateau for their return trip to give them a quiet place to reconnect with one another and refocus on their mission before going back to work.

Are you a missionary with a few furlough stories to tell? Help us show the church that a little R & R could save a family. Share this post, and your story with the hashtag #RandRmatters on your favorite social media. Together, we’re helping those who share the good news around the world.

A Story About Depression

It broke my heart, but looking back…I understand why it happened.

We were in Maine in our third year there as vocational missionaries, and our dream had finally come true: Our best friends were joining us with their brand new baby in tow! It took everything I had not to be over at her house every afternoon. I was just so excited to have my best friend living nearby, and especially glad to have someone around to talk to about all the challenges of living on mission so far from home, and without a church to support us. Finally, we weren’t alone. This was going to change everything.

Except, it didn’t. The loneliness I already felt, the isolation, and the painful distance from family still living in the south…she felt it double. A first time mother, she was experiencing all the biggest, most beautiful experiences of raising a new baby a thousand miles away from her own mother. It wore on her heart, and weighed on her mind. She called a little less. She stopped coming over. She was too busy to have me around. I didn’t see it at the time, mostly because my own feelings created a haze that kept me blind to what my sweet friend was enduring. It was heartbreaking for both of us when she finally told me the news…they were going home.

That announcement had a ripple affect in my life. We followed them a year later, leaving behind the families we’d worked so hard to minister to, and carried home with us a mountain of regret. But the winters were too long, and too lonely, the work too hard to do alone. It’s not our friend’s fault that we left our work in Maine, but it seemed to confirm what we already knew…ministry is hard, and meant to be done with a support system. The other thing I learned from that season in life is this: depression is real, and loneliness is like a death sentence to someone who is fighting depression. I know, because I discovered I was suffering from seasonal affective disorder, and postpartum depression just months before we decided to move south. I couldn’t find a Christian counselor anywhere who would help me work through the issues I was dealing with at the time, and it felt like going home was the only thing that would keep me alive. I couldn’t take another winter alone in Maine, no matter how beautiful it was.

A ministry like Restored & Renewed could have changed our whole story. What would have happened if we could have spoken with a counselor every week through video conferencing? What a blessing it would have been for me, for my friend, and for the families we were serving who needed marital counseling, too. Christian counseling is a lifesaving, marriage saving work, and now that we can have access to experienced counselors through technology anywhere there is an internet or cellular connection, we should be using this resource more often. Are you a missionary or minister who could have been helped if you’d had access to private, confidential counseling without having to leave your mission field? Help us show the church that a little R & R could save a family. Share this post, and your story with the hashtag #RandRmatters on your favorite social media. Together, we’re helping those who share the good news around the world.

 

Share Your Story

“It’s really heartbreaking,” she said, shaking her head. Her eyes were filled with sadness, and something else…frustration.

The noise of the café hummed behind us as we sat talking over our lunch of deli sandwiches and iced tea. I hadn’t seen her in a very long time, and her unexpected house guest had kept her busier than usual, making it hard for us to find time to get together and catch up. A missionary friend of theirs recently moved in, finding their home a safe refuge as he tried to put the pieces of his life back together and return to the work he’d left behind overseas.

“I wish I knew how to help him,” she continued. “It’s so hard to see him like this, and know that it probably could have been prevented.”

She was right. There was a good chance it could have been prevented, but it’s hard to help someone avoid a painful trial like divorce when they won’t share the pain they are going through before it’s too late. That was the case for her friends, a couple ministering overseas as missionaries…until it all ended in a surprise divorce. The wife hadn’t been prepared for the reality of life overseas, or on full time mission. The pain and resentment built up until she couldn’t take it anymore, and left. He came home to try to win her back, but it was too late. The divorce papers were already on their way. She was done.

“If only she’d said something before…” my friend lamented.

If only she’d had a counselor available, I thought.

A good marriage counselor, or family therapist could have helped this young woman work through her feelings and difficult emotions. In counseling, she could have explored her alternatives with someone who could help her find ways to give words to her painful emotions. Learning to communicate with our spouse is difficult in the beginning, but even more so when the two of you are on mission thousands of miles away from your support systems. Add to that the stress couples in ministry often feel to pretend everything is perfectly wonderful between them in order to set a good example, or to convince those who pay their paycheck each month that everything is fine, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. Even if they wanted help, who could they trust to be both helpful and discreet as they work through their issues thousands of miles away from the closest Christian counselor?

You might be surprised how many missionaries leave the field because of trouble in their marriage, or with their family. It’s frustrating to think how many of those families could have been spared that pain, and remained in the work they loved if only they’d had the help they needed. R & R Ministries was created to help missionary families find the resources they need to keep doing the precious work they were called to do. Help us help more missionaries stay in the field by sharing this post, and tell us your story of how a ministry like Restored and Renewed could have helped you, or someone you love. When we speak the truth about our situation in love, it inspires others to speak their truth as well. So, by having the courage to share your story, you could help another family out there see themselves in your story, and reach out for the help they need.

Use the hashtag #RandRmatters when you share this link and your story on your favorite social media, and help us tell the church that a little R & R could save a family. Together, we’re helping those who share the good news around the world.

You’re Invited

This December we’ll celebrate our first year at Chateau Clairefontaine, and we want you to join us. If you’re a family in ministry outside of the United States, we hope you’ll consider visiting us at the chateau December 8-10th for our Open House weekend. We look forward to welcoming you to our home, and introducing you to Restored & Renewed Ministry. We will have family portraits available from Michelle Kellis Photography, deliciously catered meals from the talented chef, Sherri Behringer-Schorr, and a few more surprises to be announced along the way. The entire weekend is FREE thank you to our generous donors who are eager to honor you, and your work in the Lord’s service. So, please join us for a weekend getaway. Bring the kids, leave the kids, either way…come relax, and be restored at Chateau Clairefontaine.
(Limited space. Reserve your room HERE.)

*Would you like to donate a stay for a family in ministry? Are you a business owner who would like to donate your goods/services to honor our Open House guests? Please contact us at RandRhostess@gmail.com

Summer Update

 

Progress Report

What a whirlwind the last few weeks have been! While friends and family around the world were preparing for a summer break, we were gearing up for our first guests here at the chateau. We started the summer with my brother’s family who visited the chateau for the first time. It was fun to show them around our new home, and see their eyes light up with all the possibilities this place holds. They got right to work with us, helping us order supplies we needed for our guests, setting up fans in the bedrooms so that it was more comfortable to sleep on hot summer nights, cleaning out the garage, and stripping wallpaper in the new reception room and the old office. We made sure to have a little fun, too, while they were here. We visited the ancient Roman settlement of Grand where we saw a fully preserved mosaic tile floor, and got to walk through the center of a Roman gladiatorial amphitheater. There were also many climbs up into the 11th century fortress here in town, and then a lot of cousin time with video games and movie snuggles. We were so happy they got to stay for an entire month with us, meet all of our new friends here in France, and even witness our first ministry guests. I know they went home with a better understanding of both the challenges and blessings we have here with this precious ministry.

Next, we welcomed a few guests in for a little R&R. We had visitors from Belgium, and China, both here for a short visit, and we sent them away as though we were saying goodbye to our own family. It was good for our souls to finally be able to minister to others the way we had intended from the beginning, and though they came to find a little rest and restoration, we all felt like we were the ones who were renewed in the end. It was hard to let them go, to be honest. The house was quiet without them, but not for long.

The last two weeks of our summer we were blessed to play host to two different teams from Arkansas who arrived with the desire to help us tackle a few of our remodeling projects here at the chateau. The first team, three friends from Little Rock, poured themselves into a few cleaning projects, and then helped us purchase, and build our new kitchen cabinets. The results were astounding. The entire kitchen feels more useful now as we doubled our cabinet space, and doubled the size of the sink. I was shocked we were able to find counter tops that look beautiful beside the antique pieces we have in the kitchen. We went ahead and ripped up the old, tattered linoleum on the floor, and found solid stone blocks beneath it, the original flooring. We have just a few more steps to go, but the kitchen is already much improved, and we are all very proud of it. No only does it look good, but it helps us feed a lot of people…like the group that came next.

Our last set of visitors arrived right after we finished the kitchen, and they dove into our list of projects immediately. A group of twelve from Levy church of Christ in North Little Rock, they were on their way to Lithuania for a week of camp. I was surprised at how much they accomplished in just a few days. We were able to redecorate the new reception, plaster the walls in the new counseling room, strip the vines and other plant material away from the side of the house where it was creeping into the kitchen vents, repair a broken bedroom floor, remove the old facade in the breakfast pantry, and clean the house again all before running back to Paris to catch a flight to Lithuania. It was amazing to see the progress we’ve made with all of the help our guests have given us this summer.

Completed Projects

  • Added a new parking area in the lot across the street
  • Repaired plumbing leaks in bathroom and toilettes.
  • Replaced the old tub with a new shower, and added a new drain line for the washing machine.
  • Purchased a weed eater and riding lawn mower for more extensive yard work.
  • Mowed the lawns, and arranged to have the field across the street mowed by our neighbor with his tractor.
  • Purchased a full-sized standalone refrigerator and freezer for the kitchen
  • Purchased a multi-use accessory for the kitchen that works as a food processor, blender, stand mixer, and several other uses
  • Purchased power tools, and a generator for a workshop that will allow Graham and our work teams to do much more ambitious building projects in the future
  • Removed old flooring in bathroom, and upstairs toilet
  • Stripped wallpaper in new reception room, and old office
  • Removed mold in new reception room, replastered the walls, and painted
  • Redecorated the reception room using items found within the house (Thank you, Lisa Gibson Interiors)
  • Stripped wallpaper, and replastered walls in the old office
  • Purchased, assembled, and installed a new set of kitchen cabinets, dishwasher, and sink
  • Removed the pantry façade and moved the enormous cabinet from the grand salon into the pantry
  • Cleaned, scrubbed, and “defunkified” the giant pantry cabinet before stocking it full of goods
  • Removed ivy from the western wall of the house, trimmed ivy along the upper fence line
  • Replaced broken floor boards in bedroom 4, making it safe for use
  • Battled the bees, and (hopefully) won
  • Planted a small kitchen garden, established composting, and made plans to extend the garden
  • Oiled and restored the floor in the entry
  • Cleaned, polished, and scrubbed floors and furniture

Personal Successes

  • Met with our new French tutor for lessons every week.
  • Finalized our new official bank account (Finally!)
  • Began the long process of getting kids enrolled in local school.

Pending Projects

  • Paint the old office/new counseling room
  • Oil and restore the floors in the reception room
  • Purchase new furniture for the counseling room
  • Move desk into reception
  • Upgrade the electrical system, and add new sockets to every room

Community Connections

  • Reconnected with our neighbors across the street and were invited to join them for a party in June. At the party, we were introduced to our neighbor up the hill, and the neighbors who own the property beside the lake with the water wheel. (This made the newspaper!)
  • Met the secretary at the high school, and visited the school.
  • Invited our friends, neighbors and the mayor to join us for an American 4th of July party. (This made the paper, too. Twice!)
  • We were invited to attend the Bastille Day celebration, and were introduced to many new people, including the owner of the chateau at Lavaux. She invited us to visit her home the following week.
  • We visited the chateau Lavaux, and were given a private tour by the owner!
  • The saw old friends at the Bastille Day event, and made new friends, too. They’ve stayed connected, visiting every week together, and texting often.
  • Grayson was invited by a friend to go to summer camp (in France!) and has spent the last three weeks attending teen events with him here in the area, a fun way to practice French.
  • Befriended the local baker who delivers bread from her shop two villages away. She came every morning and delivered fresh baked bread to our home, a fabulous treat. We share a mutual affection, and I guarantee she will make the next dinner party guest list along with our French tutor.
  • We have now met TWO Americans here who are very social, and friendly. We hope to be good friends to them, and encourage them however we can.

Prayer Requests

As always, we would appreciate prayers of thanks for the projects completed, petitions for the pending projects, and encouragement for our family.

  • Please pray for our children as they prepare to go to school, a daunting task in a foreign country.
  • Pray for the missionary families who visited us, and for those we have yet to meet. May they find rest here, and restoration.

A Place of Rest

It’s different this time.

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but somehow it’s different this time around. Last fall, our family moved to France. We moved into a sort of mini-chateau in the French countryside, and began preparing it for a big, beautiful purpose: to host missionaries and their families who need a sanctuary. It was a beautiful dream that turned into reality in just a few short months. What we didn’t realize was that buying the house wasn’t going to be the hardest part. Not by a long shot. Everything that is hard about moving, and setting up a new house in a new town was ten times harder in another language. Compound that with the fact that we are foreigners without complete citizenship, and that made the simplest of tasks feel impossible. In those first three months we faced overwhelm, homesickness, culture shock, loneliness, and fatigue. Then…we went back to America. Our visas were only good for three months, and to apply for a longer stay visa that would allow us to apply for residency, we needed to be in the U.S. So, we locked the doors with the big, heavy iron keys, and said goodbye to our little village.

You’d think that would be when things got better, but for a little while they got worse. A lot worse. I felt lost, and more than a little afraid that we’d taken on more than we could handle. Fear turned to depression, and I spent weeks struggling to get my footing on this new slippery terrain as we moved from France to Arkansas, to Virginia, and back to Arkansas. Finally, after weeks of paperwork, and long to-do lists that felt impossible, I found myself sitting on the back porch of my in-law’s home. The creek trickled by while birds sang in the trees overhead, and for the first time in what felt like a year, I was still. I sat. I cried. I prayed. And over the course of a week, I slowly let go of all that fear that had been piling up inside of me. I’m not really sure when it happened, but one day I stood beside my mother in law doing dishes, and she turned to me with a sweet smile. “I’m so glad you have had this time here. I know it wasn’t what you had planned, but you look so much more….rested.”

I knew she was right. I had finally found some peace, and I was certain of my purpose again. What I wanted more than anything was to return to France and do the work we’d set out to do from the beginning, because I knew there were others out there feeling overwhelmed, afraid, and alone. I wanted to give them the same thing I’d been given, a place to rest. A place to sit and be quiet. A place to be reminded of your purpose, and your passion. A place to be restored, and renewed.

That’s why we’re here. And now as I move through the long to-do list, I know that every item has a deeper purpose behind it. Every step of preparing the house for guests is so that someone can come and find their rest here at the chateau. So, I pray. I pray for the weary wife and mother who has been too long away from her own mother, whose marriage is strained from all the stress of the work abroad, and yet her heart can’t stand the thought of leaving behind those she’s ministered to in her adopted home. I pray for the missionary who has become disillusioned with life, and fears he’s lost his passion.  He wonders if he’s made a terrible mistake, wasted his life, and the fear weighs him down until his prayers feel like lead that never rise to meet God. I pray for the friend, the sister, the brother who are a world away where loved ones can’t reach them to help when the tears begin, and the calls grow shorter, or stop coming altogether. My heart aches for each of them, but I know there is a place here where they can find healing, and rest. I will cook a delicious meal, and welcome them with a hug, and show them their room in the little chateau on the hill where all is peaceful, and quiet. And there…there they will be restored to the Father.

Do you know a missionary who needs a little time away? We would love to have them visit us at the chateau. Want to donate a week to a missionary family you know? Email us at RandRhostess@gmail.com

 

It’s Official

Celebrate with us, friends!

This morning we learned that our visas have been approved. We are officially moving to France, and can finally begin our work there. It’s a good thing, too, because we’ll be welcoming our first missionaries to the chateau on July 3rd. We can hardly wait to get the house opened, and cleaned up for our guests. We have a summer full of fun planned for those who visit the chateau, and are already beginning to fill our calendar for the fall, too.

Thank you for praying for us as we struggled over this hurdle. Your love, and support, carried us through the toughest days. I’m thrilled to know we have such powerful prayer warriors on our side as we take on this beautiful work ministering to the brave families across the world who have committed their lives to serving God, and carrying his Word out into the world.

Keep those prayers coming,

Graham and Heather Sutherlin